An Incomplete List of Things the Federal Government Should Stop Using Thanks to Apple

In the latest salvo of the ongoing Apple vs FBI salvo, Florida GOP congressman David Jolly has introduced a (doomed) bill banning the federal government from purchasing unpatriotic, terrorist-loving iPhones. Taking this logic to the extreme, here’s a more complete list of products that should be boycotted.

By the deadline for filing amicus briefs today, a who’s-who of Silicon Valley companies have voiced legal support
for Apple’s position. If we assume, therefore, that Rep. Jolly would also support a boycott of those companies and their products, here is a short list of things the federal government will no longer be able to use:

  • Computers containing an Intel processor
  • Twitter (send comments to @USRepDavidJolly)
  • Facebook (remember to like Congressman David Jolly)
  • Phones running Android
  • Computers running Windows
  • Windows Phone devices
  • Gmail, Outlook, Yahoo Mail, Hotmail, or any email hosted on a Microsoft Exchange server
  • Yahoo! Answers
  • YouTube
  • Websites or services hosted on Amazon Web Services
  • Mobile or landline internet from AT&T
  • WhatsApp, Snapchat, or Instagram
  • Networks using Cisco hardware
  • Nest thermostats
  • Dropbox or Box (or Google Drive, iCloud, Flickr, or Microsoft OneDrive for that matter)
  • eBay
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Chrome, Internet Explorer, Firefox, or Safari

If you can think of any other 9/11-supporting, ISIS-loving technologies to boycott, feel free to email Congressman Jolly. I’m sure he’ll love reading your messages on his AMD-powered Linux machine via AOL.

[Ars Technica]

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